Performance anxiety in musicians: Dealing with the inner critic

Do you repeatedly suffer from the inner critic ? What does this mean, and how does it actually arise?

It is our own thoughts that judge and criticize everything in us in a negative way.

There are many people who have thoughts like 'I'm not good enough', 'I can't make any mistakes', 'I can't do that', 'the way I'm playing doesn't sound good at all', etc.

The inner critic can take away the joy of making music , making it harder for us to enjoy our playing, be present in the here and now, or play or sing the way we want to. It can feel like a real blockage.

I know all of this very well myself and will share with you where these thoughts actually come from and what, in my experience, is the most sensible and effective way to deal with them.

The inner critic is just a symptom of something deeper.

This suffering is related to developmental and attachment trauma or some kind of relational distortion in childhood. One possibility in the early childhood years is to channel the energy of anger and aggression , which is normally directed outward as an appropriate response to a threatening situation, into the mental space .

In principle, you could say it's related to the trauma structure, the parents' or caregivers' assessment. They might say things like, 'Everything has to be perfect.'

You have to imagine:

You're a child whose neural pathways are still open and are only then being wired with experience. When you're constantly told, in a harsh way , that you're right if you're totally perfect, and you're wrong if you deviate even a little bit here, then as a child you believe: Ah, that's life. I'm good if I do everything perfectly.

We, so to speak, impose the motherly or parental mentality on our minds, because we have nothing there, and we first have to find our bearings on how to navigate this world. However, when parents impose such demands, it understandably becomes exhausting.

We need that to a certain extent, of course. I have to teach every child what's not okay and what they're allowed to do. But it always depends on the severity and the degree of restriction . Phrases like, "If you do that, it's really bad, then I don't love you anymore," or threats of even worse—then you're putting a lot of stress into the child's system.

And when that happens, of course you have it in mind.

How to free yourself from the inner critic

First of all: don't judge yourself for having this within you. This 'right-wrong' thinking is energetically one of the most difficult structures we have within us.

It's more about first becoming aware of it and then creating a gap and distance so that you realize that it's an evaluation.

These are thoughts that you've adopted, but that don't belong to you . You then need to access your own anger and aggression to distance yourself from them. Because these thoughts are directed against us , and we need to redirect them outward.

Of course, you want to play well and be very focused and present in the music. It's just about freeing yourself from that kind of whiplash of 'I have to do this right, otherwise it'll be really bad and I'll be worthless.'

It is also important to know:

In classical music or jazz, there is a critic, and there is a social critic. We encounter this structure everywhere, and especially in so-called meritocratic societies .

This is something that has been made, something that has developed in societies. It's necessary to some extent, but we suffer from it because this 'right and wrong' has taken on dimensions that border on completely inhumane.

To realize that the inner critic is completely unreal, you first need awareness .

When you are with yourself, you know: I play well.

Maybe you feel like you're forgetting it when those voices come. And then you have to recognize that you're in there.

Becoming able to act

It's absolutely necessary and important that you become capable of taking action and reclaim your energy at this point. This means first recognizing that you're completely trapped in it, and then saying: Stop. Let's make a point. Then you'll be empowered again.

Tell yourself out loud: I'm playing well. Period.

All other voices: Get out! This is all sick stuff. Maybe you should put the critic of classical music (or jazz/pop) aside for a while.

Body perception

Another way to move away from constant evaluations and into greater contact with the music is to train body awareness. As mentioned, we have separated ourselves from feelings and our bodies and channeled our energy into the mental space. The more we can perceive physical sensations again and truly inhabit our bodies, the calmer our minds become; we are present in the here and now.

When you're present in the moment and aware of what's happening (especially in your body), it's almost impossible to think at the same time. You're living, breathing, feeling music—and nothing else. The critic is silent by itself.

To try this, you can ask yourself the following while making music:

• What sensations do I perceive in my body?

• Can I feel my feet and the contact with the ground?

• What does the surroundings look like?

• How does the room sound?

Once you have unloaded the inner critic, space has been created for something new, for freer music-making.

In conclusion, the inner critic no longer makes sense ; it's completely irrelevant to your life. You no longer need it. And there are many ways to free yourself from it.